April 11, 2006

Baby Waiting

All you married women out there who have been waiting some time to get pregnant, listen up.

I can empathize with you. I’ve been in that boat and I know it is not a painless place to be marooned in.

My husband and I were married for more than three years before finally getting pregnant with our Niccolo. Before that, we experienced so many false alarms and dashed hopes that we got very fed up!

Let me tell you something. I got pregnant when it was the furthest thing from our minds. I know people always say it and it is hard NOT to do but you really just have to make yourself stop thinking about it so much. It happened to us when we least expected it and when we finally decided in our hearts to leave it all up to God to bless us in His own time.

It is not wrong to keep yourself busy while waiting, but be busy doing something you like. I was still working when I got pregnant and only resigned right before giving birth so I could take care of our baby full-time. Try not to let yourself be pressured by your parents, your in-laws and others who seek to impose what they want on you. I know how maddening it can be when people keep asking if you are pregnant and what you are doing about it if you aren't. It does NOT help at all. As much as possible, do not allow them get to you because it will adversely affect you more than you realize. As long as you and your husband are at peace with each other and your situation, you are on the right track.

After our OB-GYN ran tests and confirmed that there was nothing physically wrong with my husband and me, she asked if we wanted to start on a fertility program to try to speed things up. My husband and I thought about it long and hard and finally decided it would just stress us out to go on fertility treatments. We thus jointly resolved to simply leave it be and let nature take its course. At ease with our mutual agreement, we went on simply enjoying our marriage as best we could. We lived easy and prayed hard. And just like that, a year after our first doctor’s visit, the much-awaited happened. We found out that I was finally and positively pregnant.

The key is to relax and take each day as it comes. Don't allow yourself to be pressured by what others want for you. Never give in to bitterness or despair, for there is still so much beauty and joy in life waiting to unfold before you. Keep yourself open to miracles.

Be grateful for what you have today. Savor your marriage as it is now with your husband. Deepen your marital ties by communicating closely with each other and supporting the decisions you have come to agree on. You will be wonderfully surprised at how much stronger your bond will be once you commit to being each other’s staunchest ally throughout.

Most importantly, be patient. Seize the time to immerse yourself in prayer and get closer to God so that you will better understand and come to graciously accept His will for you.

Then, you will see. The blessings will just flow….and you will realize that all the waiting will be absolutely worth it.

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