July 16, 2006

Pick-Up and Go.....Again!

Due to insistent public demand, I compiled a second list of nauseating pick-up lines for your morbid enjoyment and, hopefully, NOT for your actual use.

Here we go again:

Hi! Can I buy you a car?

Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?

I’m in the process of writing a phone book. May I have your number?

There must be something wrong with my eyes. I can’t take them off you.

I’m feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?

You are the reason why I came here alone.

Hello! Can I see your tan lines?

Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn’t mean much when you have a weak heart.

Excuse me, may I take your picture? I want Santa Claus to know exactly what I want for Christmas.

Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

Here’s a quarter. Call your roommate and tell her you won’t be coming home tonight.

Hey, I’m searching for treasure. Can I search around your chest?

Your daddy must be a drug dealer…because you’re dope!

Are you an interior decorator? When you came in, the room became beautiful.

You must be going straight to hell, because it is a sin to look that good!

Are you accepting applications to your fan club?

If it weren’t for that darn sun, you’d be the hottest thing ever created.

So, you have a man? How long have you had that problem?

I know milk does a body good, but DAMN! How much have you been drinking?

Hi! I’m writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you.

Come live in my heart…and pay no rent.

Do you want to see something swell?

I’m not drunk. I’m just intoxicated by the breathtaking sight of you.

Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin’!

If your left leg was Easter and your right leg was Christmas, could I please come and spend time between the holidays?

You have nice jewelry. They would look great on my nightstand.

Hi! I’m new to this country and you are the prettiest sight I’ve seen so far. Can you give me a tour of your body?

I’ve lost my teddy bear. Can I sleep with you?

I’m not looking for a relationship. I’m looking for an experience.

I envy your lipstick.

Was it difficult getting into those jeans? Can I try?

You’ll do.

What do you like for breakfast?

Damn, Sugar, settle down! I’m diabetic.

Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I? Please?

Your name must be Summer…because you are hot as hell!

I’m a criminal. Hurry! Put me in handcuffs.

You know what? Your eyes have the exact same color as my brand new Porsche.

Hey, what’s that on your face? Here…let me check. Oh, it’s just beauty!

I have only three months to live.

Pardon me, but you stink. Let’s take a shower together.

If I said you were an angel, would you treat me like the devil tonight?

When does your centerfold come out?

When God made you, He was showing off.

Excuse me, I’d like to have kids someday and I wanted to find out how your parents created such a beautiful creature.

I want you almost as much as I want world peace.

I’d marry your dog just to get in the family.

You look like the type of girl who has heard every line in the book…so what’s one more?

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