July 18, 2006

I'd Love To, But....

After dishing out one insanely stupefying pick-up line after another for two continuous blog entries, I fear I may have discouraged some singletons from boldly venturing into the town’s most happening joints and partying on their own in trepidation of being bamboozled by overconfident strangers armed with sickeningly glib tongues. Bachelorettes, it’s time to stop the fretting! This one is for you.

Below are sassy comebacks you can use to effectively ward off unwelcome advances from the opposite sex. Commit them to memory so that you will not be caught dead in a speechless state of bewilderment the next time you are thrown a staggeringly cheesy pick-up line.

When someone icky comes on to you, simply answer:


continue by choosing from the various options listed:

1. I have to floss my cat.
2. The man on television told me to stay tuned.
3. I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary.
4. I’m staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.
5. I have to go to the post office to see if I’m still wanted.
6. I’m attending the opening of my garage door.
7. I don’t want to leave my comfort zone.
8. I’m teaching my ferret to yodel.
9. I have to fulfill my potential.
10. My subconscious says no.
11. I made an appointment with a cuticle specialist.
12. I’m having all my plants neutered.
13. I never go out on days that end in “Y”.
14. I have too much guilt.
15. I promised to help a friend fold road maps.
16. I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
17. I feel a song coming on.
18. I’m trying to be less popular.
19. You know how we psychos are.
20. I have to study for a blood test.
21. I’m observing National Apathy Week.
22. I have to fluff my shower cap.
23. My plot to take over the world is thickening.
24. I’m trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.
25. I’m having my baby shoes bronzed.
26. There’s a disturbance in the force.
27. I’m going to count the bristles in my toothbrush.
28. I have to jog my memory.
29. My palm reader advised against it.
30. I prefer to remain an enigma.

BwaHaHaHa! Now go forth and have fun with it!!!

1 comment:

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