Below are sassy comebacks you can use to effectively ward off unwelcome advances from the opposite sex. Commit them to memory so that you will not be caught dead in a speechless state of bewilderment the next time you are thrown a staggeringly cheesy pick-up line.
When someone icky comes on to you, simply answer:
I’D LOVE TO, BUT…
continue by choosing from the various options listed:
1. I have to floss my cat.
2. The man on television told me to stay tuned.
3. I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary.
4. I’m staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.
5. I have to go to the post office to see if I’m still wanted.
6. I’m attending the opening of my garage door.
7. I don’t want to leave my comfort zone.
8. I’m teaching my ferret to yodel.
9. I have to fulfill my potential.
10. My subconscious says no.
11. I made an appointment with a cuticle specialist.
12. I’m having all my plants neutered.
13. I never go out on days that end in “Y”.
14. I have too much guilt.
15. I promised to help a friend fold road maps.
16. I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
17. I feel a song coming on.
18. I’m trying to be less popular.
19. You know how we psychos are.
20. I have to study for a blood test.
21. I’m observing National Apathy Week.
22. I have to fluff my shower cap.
23. My plot to take over the world is thickening.
24. I’m trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.
25. I’m having my baby shoes bronzed.
26. There’s a disturbance in the force.
27. I’m going to count the bristles in my toothbrush.
28. I have to jog my memory.
29. My palm reader advised against it.
30. I prefer to remain an enigma.
BwaHaHaHa! Now go forth and have fun with it!!!