May 03, 2006

Some Kind of Wonderful Crap

Ever have one of those days when you just feel so utterly, unbelievably, inexplicably crappy? When you just want to shut out the entire world and bury yourself in bed the whole day to bemoan your sordid state of being?

Yesterday was that kind of day for me. Maybe my period had something to do with it or the maddeningly cloying summer heat I woke up to, or both. Whatever the cause, the effect was impossible to ignore as it sickeningly pervaded and depressed my total sense of self. I felt downright icky, ugly, moronic, ancient, and elephantastically fat.

My husband was in a photo shoot on location for most of the day so I was left at home with our one-year old son. It did not help that our baby has now become more hyper than the Energizer Bunny and more mischievous than Dennis the Menace, demanding man-to-man guarding and undivided attention. By the time the little imp finally napped, I was exhausted.

I tried to finish some work for our studio but my head wasn’t in it so I gave up. I started reading a book but the story did not enthrall enough to keep me turning the pages. I went back and forth the gazillion TV channels; remarkably, nothing interesting was on. I thought of going to the salon to get my hair styled and my nails done, but I felt too lethargic to bother going out. I ended up staring morosely at the mirror, lamenting the lost fabulous splendor of my youth.

I could not wait for the horridly dismal day to end.

I was somewhat relieved when evening fell and the blackened sky complemented my dark mood. Upon returning, my husband must have noticed my foul disposition because he wisely let me be and mostly kept out of the way.

As we finally got to bed, I found myself tossing and turning about, desperately hoping to sink into a deep peaceful slumber. Suddenly, without warning, my husband turned to me and looked straight into my eyes. He soothingly stroked my hair and very gently caressed the side of my face. He then smiled at me with utmost tenderness and whispered:
“Hey beautiful, I love you.”

I could not help but smile back. Tears instantly sprung to my eyes as mixed emotions of overwhelming gratitude, joy and love seared inside me. I felt all the negative energies I was harboring throughout the day dissipate and melt into nothingness. I thankfully succumbed to my husband’s warm embrace and stayed comfortably ensconced in his arms until I at last fell into a blissful, undisturbed sleep.

Wouldn’t you know it? My crappy day still managed to end up to be some kind of wonderful.

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