It’s been years since I’ve last blogged. Going through past entries tonight with my husband and my son who is now 20 years old suddenly brought back an overwhelming onslaught of memories. We found ourselves immersed for hours in laughter and conversation about all the stuff I wrote. They kept urging me to get back to it.
And thus, here I am.
Let’s get right to the life-altering event that happened to me on December 9, 2021. Sharing with you what I posted on my Facebook the day I turned golden.
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This is it. The first day of my fifth decade of life is now upon me. But for a trepidatious moment there, getting to this point became a serious uncertainty.
Last December 9, the most sudden and the most unexpected happened to me. I suffered a stroke. In the wee hours of the morning, on my way to the bathroom, my right leg gave way without warning and I collapsed to the ground. It turns out the left side of my brain got blood clots which caused my mind to lose control of my right side.
Having been urgently admitted at the ER, getting scanned inside a frighteningly claustrophobic MRI machine, being speedily wheeled to an Intensive Care Room, and becoming hooked up to different machines around my bed were a series of surreal events that felt like I was the protagonist in one of the Korean telenovelas I love to watch. Except none of it was made up. It wasn't a bad dream. Every bit of it was really happening. I was truly in jeopardy.
I chose to hang on as best as I could. I mustered all the courage, positive energy and inner strength that I felt I still had in me and filled my thoughts with them towards my will to heal. On December 12, I was transferred from the ICU to a standard room. And on December 17, I was able to return home. My right side was still very weak which made it frustratingly difficult to maneuver my way independently, but the doctors assured me that diligent physical therapy and occupational therapy would help me fully regain my strength. It has been more than two months since my stroke, and I am now nearing normal. My right ankle needs to move better for me to walk properly but my leg and knee are strong again. My right arm and hand are almost back to 100%. I am typing on my laptop once more for the first time as I currently write this and quite efficiently at that, if I may say so.
What has this experience made me realize? I’ll share with you my top three eye-openers which you can learn something from. First, the power of prayer is the greatest power of all. When you are alone in bed for hours unable to move around with wires stuck to you everywhere, what is there left to do? PRAY, PRAY, PRAY. I prayed the Rosary, I prayed different novenas, and I prayed with my own words simply communicating to the Lord straight from my heart. I prayed for mercy from God our Father and asked for the intercession of St. Josemaria Escriva, Our Lady of Guadalupe and my Dad whom I believe is still closely watching over me. Armies of loved ones stormed the heavens joining in prayer and offered Masses for my recovery. The Lord listened and I don’t think it was a coincidence that I was released from the ICU on the feast day of Our Lady of Guadalupe with her blessed tilma wrapped around me.
Second, inner strength is key to pushing forward. My shoulder, arm and hand were so weak that I couldn’t even hold a glass of water, write my name, button my clothes or make a thumbs-up sign. Countless times I wanted to give up and give in to self-pity and depression. But I kept thinking that there is still so much to live for. I chose to hold on. I forced myself to do the daily therapy, no matter how tough and challenging. I persisted in doing my exercises, even if I kept stumbling and keeling over. And gradually, day by day, my body made progress. Focus your mind, and the rest will follow.
Third and most importantly, when you are on the brink, it will strongly hit you that there is only one thing that really truly matters - the people you love and the people who love you. Everything else suddenly seems secondary and trivial. Does your family know how much you love them? Did you tell them? Did you show it? Did you spend enough time with them? Do your friends know how much you care? When was the last time you asked how they were? Such a crucial self-discovery it was! In the end, it will not be about money, fame or social status; you can’t take those with you. It will be about those you will hold in your heart for always.
To my Mommy dearest Imelda, thank you for being the amazing rock of strength that inspired me to overcome. I’ll never forget the first time you came to me in the ICU. You just looked at me with utter serenity and confidently told me with a smile that God and Daddy in heaven would take care of me and that I would without a doubt get better. That singular moment shared with you spurred my spirit to keep the faith, hold fast to hope and summon my will to heal.
To my SonShine Niccolo, thank you for being the blazing light brightening my darkest of days. Since your Dad was in Davao for work when the stroke happened, you had to take charge of mobilizing our household staff to take me to the hospital and answer the questions of the doctors and nurses. At 16, you were already being a mature and reliable man of the house. And how you kept cheering me on to get better, making me laugh, entertaining me with your stories, applauding me when I show progress in my therapy and hugging me tight when you see me tired or sad. You are truly the gift that keeps on giving and I realize that the best thing I can do for you now is to take better care of my health so I can be with you for much longer and create many more precious memories with you.
And to my Allan … Oh, Allan! There are not enough words to express the depth of my gratitude to you. Never have I ever felt more loved by you than when this happened. You refused to get me a caregiver which is what most families do for stroke victims because you said you wanted to be the one to take care of me. And how you did! Feeding me, bathing me, brushing my hair, administering my medicines, observing my therapy sessions so you could learn how to help me move better, drying my tears, nonstop motivating me to keep trying, praying with me, and literally being there for me every painstaking step of the way. I am the luckiest woman in the world and I plan to spend my second lease on life showing you how thankful I am for being blessed with you.
And to my brother Daniel and his wife Clarice, to my brother David and his wife Marbie, to my extended family and my kin, and to all my friends who became my angels on earth helping me any way they could, sending stuff over, constantly checking in on me, incessantly praying for me and lifting my spirits, I thank you profusely with every fiber of my being.
I am letting each and every one of you know while I can… I LOVE YOU. ❤️
So here I am now: Stronger, wiser, changed for the better. I prefer to consider what befell me as a Stroke of Serendipity.
This is it. This is GOLD. 💛💛💛
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