February 10, 2007

Pick Up & Go - A Valentine Special

In dire need of a date this fast approaching Valentine's Day?

I'm reprinting my previous posts on pick-up lines to get you in the right direction....

Good luck....NOT!


Bwahahaha!


To this day, I truly cannot recall the incident without cringing. I was a freshman at college and school had just started. I was in the library frenetically cramming a paper due in the next hour when a guy I recognized from my Philosophy class casually slipped into the cubicle next to mine. We were never formally introduced before then, so I did not say anything. He threw me a friendly smile and so I simply smiled back. Just as I was about to resume work on my essay, he confidently proclaimed: “Your father must be a thief.” Taken aback, I muttered: "Huh?” He gazed straight at me and declared in all seriousness: “He stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.” I almost choked. Before I could run for cover, he brazenly continued: “And you must be a thief too….because you stole my heart.” Holy jeepers! I actually felt my insides squirm. Was he for real??? I hurriedly stuffed my unfinished paper in my bag and hightailed it out of there.

Eventually, the guy became a friend. But, of course, he still has not heard the end of it from me regarding that singularly unforgettable library encounter. In fact, in honor of and inspired by such awesome boldness, I have compiled a list of the cheesiest, most groan-inducing pick-up lines I have ever come across.

Men, use at your own risk. Women, do not bother to take the risk….RUN!

Here it goes:

Can I borrow fifty cents? I told my mother I would call her when I fell in love with the girl of my dreams.

Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes.

Excuse me, but I think I dropped something…MY JAW!

Someone call the police because it’s gotta be illegal to look that good!

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Hershey’s makes millions of kisses a day.... all I'm asking for is one.

How was heaven when you left it?

I didn’t know that angels could fly so low.

What time do you have to be back in heaven?

Can I see the tag on your shirt? I want to see if it says made in heaven.

Would you touch me please so I can tell my friends that I've been touched by an angel?

Remind me to tell God congratulations. He finally got it right.

I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.

Do you need a light? Because I think I’ve found the perfect match.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

If you were a tear in my eye, I would not cry for fear of losing you.

Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

You know, you might be asked to leave this place soon. You’re making the other women look really bad.

Your name must be Mickey because you’re so fine.

You’re pretty good-looking. Any chance you have a personality?

Is your father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on earth.

Is your dad a baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns!

Is your father a farmer? Because you sure have great melons!

Your parents must be beavers…because DAM!

Your legs must be tired…because you've been running through my mind all night.

I lost my phone number. Could I borrow yours?

Excuse me, could you give me directions to your heart?

Is your dad a terrorist? Because you're the bomb!

You must be a broom...because you just swept me off my feet.

You must be a ticket...because you have fine written all over you.

You're like a dictionary...you add meaning to my life.

Are you religious? Because you are the answer to all my prayers.

Do you have a band-aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?

Mind if I call you Destiny?

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock.

I like that shirt. Is it felt? No. Would you like it to be?

Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

You have really beautiful legs. What time do they open?

That dress looks really nice on you. But how can I talk you out of it?

You’ve been a bad girl.…go to my room!

I’ve heard that sex is a killer. Do you want to die happy?

Stand still so I can pick you up.

Pardon me, but what pick up line works best with you?

Do you mind if I end this sentence in a proposition?



Hi! Can I buy you a car?

Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?

I’m in the process of writing a phone book. May I have your number?

There must be something wrong with my eyes. I can’t take them off you.

I’m feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?

You are the reason why I came here alone.

Hello! Can I see your tan lines?

Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn’t mean much when you have a weak heart.

Excuse me, may I take your picture? I want Santa Claus to know exactly what I want for Christmas.

Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

Here’s a quarter. Call your roommate and tell her you won’t be coming home tonight.

Hey, I’m searching for treasure. Can I search around your chest?

Your daddy must be a drug dealer…because you’re dope!

Are you an interior decorator? When you came in, the room became beautiful.

You must be going straight to hell, because it is a sin to look that good!

Are you accepting applications to your fan club?

If it weren’t for that darn sun, you’d be the hottest thing ever created.

So, you have a man? How long have you had that problem?

I know milk does a body good, but DAMN! How much have you been drinking?

Hi! I’m writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you.

Come live in my heart…and pay no rent.

Do you want to see something swell?

I’m not drunk. I’m just intoxicated by the breathtaking sight of you.

Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin’!

If your left leg was Easter and your right leg was Christmas, could I please come and spend time between the holidays?

You have nice jewelry. They would look great on my nightstand.

Hi! I’m new to this country and you are the prettiest sight I’ve seen so far. Can you give me a tour of your body?

I’ve lost my teddy bear. Can I sleep with you?

I’m not looking for a relationship. I’m looking for an experience.

I envy your lipstick.

Was it difficult getting into those jeans? Can I try?

You’ll do.

What do you like for breakfast?

Damn, Sugar, settle down! I’m diabetic.

Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I? Please?

Your name must be Summer…because you are hot as hell!

I’m a criminal. Hurry! Put me in handcuffs.

You know what? Your eyes have the exact same color as my brand new Porsche.

Hey, what’s that on your face? Here…let me check. Oh, it’s just beauty!

I have only three months to live.

Pardon me, but you stink. Let’s take a shower together.

If I said you were an angel, would you treat me like the devil tonight?

When does your centerfold come out?

When God made you, He was showing off.

Excuse me, I’d like to have kids someday and I wanted to find out how your parents created such a beautiful creature.

I want you almost as much as I want world peace.

I’d marry your dog just to get in the family.

You look like the type of girl who has heard every line in the book…so what’s one more?

43 comments:

Scott from Oregon said...

If I ever try and use one of these, somebody shoot me a look...

ian said...

My gosh, I think my IQ dropped a hunnert points after readin' alla them.

I'll one-up Scott from Oregon - if I ever try and use one of these, somebody shoot me. No looks, just shoot me.

Ian

Kyels said...

Gawd ... Heh.

They are nice and cheesy, some of them. But well, some girls may actually like 'em.

Have a happy weekend!

Claudia said...

hahaha!! some are pretty crude, some are funny, mostly cheesy though!!

thethinker said...

One of the most overused -- "You must be a ticket...because you have fine written all over you."

The most desperate -- "I’ve lost my teddy bear. Can I sleep with you?". Straightforward, yes. But still desperate.

Lizza said...

LOL!

These are very funny. Some of them make me cringe, though. :-)

Happy weekend!

JR's Thumbprints said...

And to think the first thing I ever said to my wife was, "Who the hell are you?" The office I worked in at the time had just hired her as a secretary, and we had a revolving door of secretaries.

Camila Bernardes said...

Thank you for the comment and for the words about my dogs. You are always welcome anytime you want.

Pamela said...

I don't think anyone every said that to me. I feel rejected.

It has been so long ago, that I'm hoping I just forgot about it.

Irene said...

Scott from Oregon: Ha! I might shoot you with more than just a look. ;p

Irish Ian: You're telling me you've never used any of those lines before?? Really??

HAHA! :p

Kyels: Alas! I must agree. They do work on some girls. ;p

Captivating Claudia: I know! Some are so cheesy, they make me laugh and cringe at the same time. =)

The Thinker: At least now you'll know better if ever anyone tries to use any of these lines on you at school...

Lovely Lizza: Glad you enjoyed! Have a great weekend, too!

JR: "Who the hell are you?"

HA! That's the best! It's just so you. :p

Camila: Will visit you again soon. Thanks!

Pamela: Be thankful you have been spared from the horror! HAHA!

Plus Ultra said...

WoW, makes me feel young again, good one young lady, Check out my parallel site and tell me if i could put you on my links there
http://alwaysmorebeyond.multiply.com

IRENE said...

What a Valentine!!!

SQT said...

Man! You got them all didn't you? I literally saw every one of the cheesy pick up lines I was subjected to while dating. You are thorough.

I don't believe my husband has ever uttered one of these; which is probably why we're still married.

Irene said...

Plus Ultra: Oh, but you are still young to me! ;p

Of course you can link me to your other site. In fact, I'd appreciate it. Thanks a lot!

Irene: May you have a Happy Valentine's free from cheesy pick-up lines! :P

SQT: Same with my husband. We know how to pick 'em, don't we? ;p

Terra Shield said...

Like Pamela, I feel rejected too :D

This one was in my friend's dream when she was 14... 'Can I have the keys to my heart back, cause I seem to have lost it!'

Bob Gentile said...

Thank You so Much, I been taking notes and will use them ASAP--LOL

I just need to pick up some crackers and whine to go with my CHEEEEEEESE :-)

Irene said...

Terra Shield: Thank you for contributing another groan-inducing line. Aaaargh! ;p

Bob Gentile: You're most welcome!

But let me just state on record that I am to to be held unliable for any injuries that may befall you due to the use of said pick-up lines. ;p

ldbug said...

I once had a guy throw out some of those horrid lines -- I teased him soooooo badly!

I can't remember any time recently when a guy has been that lame to use a one liner, either I'm meeting a higher quality of man or they've been warned;-)

jase said...

Susmaryosep! Sobrang tawa ko sa story mo day!

Anyway, can i borrow or steal one of your photos? Yung faces ng three girls painted with Filipino flag!

I just need it for my blog!

Iheartprettyteeth said...

Hey you, leave my future husbands alone!!!

Wayne Allen Sallee said...

I had a hard time signing in last night, Irene. Thanks for visiting my blog. I hadn't seen the Katrina pick up line. I have been with coworkers who talk about girls "milky skin" and how they don't look 25 and its like a completely different, totally fake voice coming out of their mouths. Thanks for visiting my blog & come again.

Irene said...

Ldbug: Oh well. I guess we've got to at least hand it to them for trying. ;p

Jase: Sure, dahling! You can use the photo. Walang problema. Basta ikaw. =)

Iheartprettyteeth: HAHA! Okay, okay...they're all yours! :p

Wayne Allen Sallee: Thanks for visiting me! Feel at home here. =) I'll see you again soon!

choochoo said...

LOL - do any of these ever work?

Miss Positive said...

Hi Irene, you posted a comment in my blog and here I am!

Hahaha! I really enjoyed reading all those pick up lines. Are there anymore? Add more if you can! They are really funny! Was chuckling all the time.

Irene said...

Choochoo: I know some guys who swear they do work sometimes. Ngyikes! ;p

Miss Positive: Glad to have added a few laughs to your day! ;p

Thank you for dropping by. I look forward to seeing you again soon!

jase said...

Thanks darling! You're so sweet :0

gem said...

Some very funny lines, here! Fun visiting, Irene. Happy, V.D.! (Can I say that?)

Steven Novak said...

I bet "Can I buy you a car" works an awful lot. ;)

Steve~

Irene said...

Jase: Your most welcome, dahling!

Precious Gem: Happ V.D. to you, too! HAHA!

Steve: Why don't you try it and see? ;p

James Burnett said...

Sheesh! These lines bring back bad (but funny) memories. When I was in college my buddies and I would play stupid drinking games in which the loser would have to do a shot and then approach a woman on the other side of the bar and intentionally use a bad pickup line. It was painful.

v I v E k said...

'Is your dad a terrorist? Because you're the bomb!'

lolz..thats nice..i wonder how Osama's daughter look like??hehe lolz

MerapuMan said...

nice. but i think it's not the pick up line that man really need, it's just something to start with. some man are very shy

:)

Irene said...

James: But were the lines effective? I bet they were for you! ;p

Vivek: HAHAHA! Happy Valentine's Day! =)

Merapuman: If you say so. But believe me, most of the men I know who have used pick-up lines are not shy at all! :p

Hope you have a great Valentine's Day!

Laura said...

God, I remember guys using some of those lines back when I was single. And trust me when I say that was a long, long time ago. Very funny valentine's post though.

wolfbaby said...

ROLF thats funny LOL

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