Pick Up & Go - A Valentine Special

In dire need of a date this fast approaching Valentine's Day?

I'm reprinting my previous posts on pick-up lines to get you in the right direction....

Good luck....NOT!

Bwahahaha!

To this day, I truly cannot recall the incident without cringing. I was a freshman at college and school had just started. I was in the library frenetically cramming a paper due in the next hour when a guy I recognized from my Philosophy class casually slipped into the cubicle next to mine. We were never formally introduced before then, so I did not say anything. He threw me a friendly smile and so I simply smiled back. Just as I was about to resume work on my essay, he confidently proclaimed: “Your father must be a thief.” Taken aback, I muttered: "Huh?” He gazed straight at me and declared in all seriousness: “He stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.” I almost choked. Before I could run for cover, he brazenly continued: “And you must be a thief too….because you stole my heart.” Holy jeepers! I actually felt my insides squirm. Was he for real??? I hurriedly stuffed my unfinished paper in my bag and hightailed it out of there.

Eventually, the guy became a friend. But, of course, he still has not heard the end of it from me regarding that singularly unforgettable library encounter. In fact, in honor of and inspired by such awesome boldness, I have compiled a list of the cheesiest, most groan-inducing pick-up lines I have ever come across.

Men, use at your own risk. Women, do not bother to take the risk….RUN!

Here it goes:

Can I borrow fifty cents? I told my mother I would call her when I fell in love with the girl of my dreams.

Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes.

Excuse me, but I think I dropped something…MY JAW!

Someone call the police because it’s gotta be illegal to look that good!

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Hershey’s makes millions of kisses a day.... all I'm asking for is one.

How was heaven when you left it?

I didn’t know that angels could fly so low.

What time do you have to be back in heaven?

Can I see the tag on your shirt? I want to see if it says made in heaven.

Would you touch me please so I can tell my friends that I've been touched by an angel?

Remind me to tell God congratulations. He finally got it right.

I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.

Do you need a light? Because I think I’ve found the perfect match.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

If you were a tear in my eye, I would not cry for fear of losing you.

Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

You know, you might be asked to leave this place soon. You’re making the other women look really bad.

Your name must be Mickey because you’re so fine.

You’re pretty good-looking. Any chance you have a personality?

Is your father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on earth.

Is your dad a baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns!

Is your father a farmer? Because you sure have great melons!

Your parents must be beavers…because DAM!

Your legs must be tired…because you've been running through my mind all night.

I lost my phone number. Could I borrow yours?

Excuse me, could you give me directions to your heart?

Is your dad a terrorist? Because you're the bomb!

You must be a broom...because you just swept me off my feet.

You must be a ticket...because you have fine written all over you.

You're like a dictionary...you add meaning to my life.

Are you religious? Because you are the answer to all my prayers.

Do you have a band-aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?

Mind if I call you Destiny?

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock.

I like that shirt. Is it felt? No. Would you like it to be?

Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

You have really beautiful legs. What time do they open?

That dress looks really nice on you. But how can I talk you out of it?

You’ve been a bad girl.…go to my room!

I’ve heard that sex is a killer. Do you want to die happy?

Stand still so I can pick you up.

Pardon me, but what pick up line works best with you?

Do you mind if I end this sentence in a proposition?

Hi! Can I buy you a car?

Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?

I’m in the process of writing a phone book. May I have your number?

There must be something wrong with my eyes. I can’t take them off you.

I’m feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?

You are the reason why I came here alone.

Hello! Can I see your tan lines?

Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn’t mean much when you have a weak heart.

Excuse me, may I take your picture? I want Santa Claus to know exactly what I want for Christmas.

Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

Here’s a quarter. Call your roommate and tell her you won’t be coming home tonight.

Hey, I’m searching for treasure. Can I search around your chest?

Your daddy must be a drug dealer…because you’re dope!

Are you an interior decorator? When you came in, the room became beautiful.

You must be going straight to hell, because it is a sin to look that good!

Are you accepting applications to your fan club?

If it weren’t for that darn sun, you’d be the hottest thing ever created.

So, you have a man? How long have you had that problem?

I know milk does a body good, but DAMN! How much have you been drinking?

Hi! I’m writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you.

Come live in my heart…and pay no rent.

Do you want to see something swell?

I’m not drunk. I’m just intoxicated by the breathtaking sight of you.

Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin’!

If your left leg was Easter and your right leg was Christmas, could I please come and spend time between the holidays?

You have nice jewelry. They would look great on my nightstand.

Hi! I’m new to this country and you are the prettiest sight I’ve seen so far. Can you give me a tour of your body?

I’ve lost my teddy bear. Can I sleep with you?

I’m not looking for a relationship. I’m looking for an experience.

I envy your lipstick.

Was it difficult getting into those jeans? Can I try?

You’ll do.

What do you like for breakfast?

Damn, Sugar, settle down! I’m diabetic.

Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I? Please?

Your name must be Summer…because you are hot as hell!

I’m a criminal. Hurry! Put me in handcuffs.

You know what? Your eyes have the exact same color as my brand new Porsche.

Hey, what’s that on your face? Here…let me check. Oh, it’s just beauty!

I have only three months to live.

Pardon me, but you stink. Let’s take a shower together.

If I said you were an angel, would you treat me like the devil tonight?

When does your centerfold come out?

When God made you, He was showing off.

Excuse me, I’d like to have kids someday and I wanted to find out how your parents created such a beautiful creature.

I want you almost as much as I want world peace.

I’d marry your dog just to get in the family.

You look like the type of girl who has heard every line in the book…so what’s one more?