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Now Open: Wit and Humor, Filipino-Style

Way back in 2006, during the prehistoric era of my blogging life (you know, when Friendster testimonials were still a thing and “selfies” were just called pictures of yourself), I started collecting a quirky little list: funny Philippine store names.

Fast-forward to today — many social media posts, memes, and controversial senate hearings later — our nation has not lost its touch for humor. In fact, it seems Filipino entrepreneurs have only sharpened their wit, proving once again that we can sell anything and make you chuckle while we’re at it.

So here I am, years later, updating my treasure trove of hilariously inventive store names. It’s a collection that reminds us that beyond the commerce, there’s always comedy.

Hope you enjoy this playful roundup of wit, wordplay, and unprecedented creativity I’ve amassed… because in the Philippines, even our business names know how to do business with a punchline.

Drumroll, please… 🥁 Here are some of the punniest, wittiest, and downright laugh-out-loud gems you’ll spot while strolling through our streets:

Adobo Putoshop

Avril Living Furniture & Interiors 

Bangga Ka ‘Day? Auto Repairs 

Blow Jab Boxing Ring 

Bob Marlin Restaurant 

Bread Zeppelin 

Brew Ha! Coffee Shop

Brews Almighty Cafe  

Cereal Killers Cafe 

Cha’ng Inuh Milktea 

Chicago Bulalo 

Chickpoint Beer House 

Chizmozza Mozzarella Sticks

Coco Martea 

Cut N’ Face Beauty Parlor 

D’ Architeethure Dental Clinic

Dirty Hairy Dog Grooming Salon 

D2 Na Me Wer Na U? Bar & Resto

EtceteRice

Eye Ronick Photography Studio

Gigabykes Quality Big Bikes Dealer

Eat My Balls fishball cart 

Egg Sheeran 

Emily in Pares 

For Heaven’s Shake!

Fries The Lord 

Grilling Me Softly With This Tong 

Hair Force One Men’s Salon 

Hair It Is! Salon 

Hairs To You Beauty Salon

Hand Job Nails & Spa 

Hard Cock Cafe 

Hari Pata 

Hurry Cutter The Barber Shop

James Tailor 

Jesus Fries 

John Lemon Juice Bar 

Koshkosh Laundry  

LGBT (Lomi•Goto•Bulalo•Tokwa’t Baboy)

Libing Things Funeral Parlor

Lord of the Ribs

Lord of the Rinse Laundry Shop

Lord of the Wings Lechon Manok

Lulugawan Kita 

Mang Inasar BBQ 

McDollibee

Mekeni Rogers Kapampangan Restaurant 

Nak Nam Fu-Cha Milk Tea 

Para Faucet Laundry Services 

Philippine Hair Lines 

Pizza Ng Ina Mo 

Probinsiomai 

Pusit To The Limit Squid Stall 

Pussies & Bitches Petshop

Put A Henna Mo! Tattoo Booth

Rice To Meat You 

Robocock Chicken Feeds

Scissors Palace Barber Shop 

Shawarma Geddon

Shoeperman Repairs

Sinabon Laundry Shop

Soaperman Laundry Center

Sofa So Good Furniture 

Starbuhoks Salon & Spa

Starducks Balut 

Starwash: Attack of The Clothes Laundry Shop 

La Kih Ti-Tea

Spotifries 

Summa Cum Laundry 

Superhairo Barber Shop 

SurpRice! Eatery 

Susan’s Roses Flower Shop 

Tailor Swift Dress Shoppe 

Tang Inasal

Tea Li Ling Pearl Drinks 

Tuna Turner Takeout Grill 

Washful Thinking Laundromat 

Wash Me Neyney Coin Laundry

Wash Your Problem Laundry Shop 

Wi-Pie To Go 

Wool Street Barongs