Tomb Tunes

I have a cool, new, impossibly young bloggerfriend aptly named The Thinker. Today, she surprised me with the most morbid tag I have so far received:

"The idea is to pick five songs that you'd like played at your funeral."

Heavens! Sharing one’s favorite books and movies is one thing. Mulling over the specific music you want heard when you are dead and gone is something else! Tell me, what kind of people think up these things??? Was this meme, perchance, concocted by a bored undertaker? Or was a competitive funeral parlor director merely trying to get the feel of his customers’ preferences?

The Thinker is very fortunate that I happen to harbor a sufficient amount of fascination for the macabre that entices me to give in and play along in this morbidly grave game.

Are you ready for Irene’s Top 5 Tomb Tunes???

1. “Dancing Queen” by Abba – Because every time I hear this, I just have to get up and dance. And so does everybody else.

You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the Dancing Queen

Friday night and the lights are low
Looking out for the place to go
Where they play the right music, getting in the swing
You come in to look for a King
Anybody could be that guy
Night is young and the music's high
With a bit of rock music, everything is fine
You're in the mood for a dance
And when you get the chance...

You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing Queen, feel the beat from the tambourine
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the Dancing Queen

You're a teaser, you turn 'em on
Leave them burning and then you're gone
Looking out for another, anyone will do
You're in the mood for a dance
And when you get the chance...

You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing Queen, feel the beat from the tambourine
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the Dancing Queen

2. “If You’re Happy and You Know It” (Popular Children’s Song) – Because I want to find out who will be happy when I’m gone so I can come back to haunt them. MWAHAHA!

If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.
If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.
If you’re happy and you know it,
then you really ought to show it
If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands!

3. “Express Yourself” by Madonna - Because I want those left behind to remember that one of the most important things in life is to express your love while you still can.

(spoken:)
Come on girls
Do you believe in love?
'cause i got something to say about it
And it goes something like this

Chorus:

Don't go for second best baby
Put your love to the test
You know, you know, you've got to
Make him express how he feels
And maybe then you'll know your love is real

You don't need diamond rings
Or eighteen karat gold
Fancy cars that go very fast
You know they never last, no, no
What you need is a big strong hand
To lift you to your higher ground
Make you feel like a queen on a throne
Make him love you till you can't come down
[you'll never come down]

(chorus)

Long stem roses are the way to your heart
But he needs to start with your head
Satin sheets are very romantic
What happens when you're not in bed
You deserve the best in life
So if the time isn't right then move on
Second best is never enough
You'll do much better baby on your own
[baby on your own]

(chorus)

Express yourself
[you've got to make him]
Express himself
Hey, hey, hey, hey
So if you want it right now, make him show you how
Express what he's got, oh baby ready or not

Intermediate:

And when you're gone he might regret it
Think about the love he once had
Try to carry on, but he just won't get it
He'll be back on his knees

To express himself
[you've got to make him]
Express himself
Hey hey

What you need is a big strong hand
To lift you to your higher ground
Make you feel like a queen on a throne
Make him love you till you can't come down
[you'll never come down]

(intermediate)

So please

(chorus)

Express yourself
[you've got to make him]
Express himself
Hey, hey, hey, hey
So if you want it right now, make him show you how
Express what he's got, oh baby ready or not
Express yourself
[you've got to make him]
So you can respect yourself
Hey, hey
So if you want it right now, then make him show you how
Express what he's got, oh baby ready or not

4. “Danny’s Song” by Kenny Loggins – Because I was greatly blessed to experience the chain of love within my own family and I hope everyone experiences it, too.

People smile and tell me i'm the lucky one, and we've just begun,
Think i'm gonna have a son.
He will be like she and me, as free as a dove, conceived in love,
Sun is gonna shine above.

Chorus:
And even though we ain't got money, i'm so in love with ya honey,
And everything will bring a chain of love.
And in the morning when i rise, you bring a tear of joy to my eyes,
And tell me everything is gonna be alright.

Seems as though a month ago i beta chi, never got high,
Oh, i was a sorry guy.
And now a smile, a face, a girl that shares my name,
Now i'm through with the game, this boy will never be the same.

(to chorus:)
Pisces, virgo rising is a very good sign, strong and kind,
And the little boy is mine.
Now i see a family where there once was none, now we've just begun,
Yeah, we're gonna fly to the sun.

(to chorus:)

Love the girl who holds the world in a paper cup, drink it up,
Love her and she'll bring you luck.
And if you find she helps your mind, buddy, take her home,
Don't you live alone, try to earn what lovers own.

5. “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen – Because this is the one of the greatest rock anthems ever. And I‘ll be darned if I don’t leave this earth rockin’!

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide,
No escape from reality.
Open your eyes, Look up to the skies and see,
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy,
Because I'm easy come, easy go, Little high, little low,
Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me, to me.

Mama just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he's dead.
Mama, life had just begun,
But now I've gone and thrown it all away.
Mama, ooh, Didn't mean to make you cry,
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow,
Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters.

Too late, my time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time.
Goodbye, ev'rybody, I've got to go,
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth.
Mama, ooh, I don't want to die,
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all.

I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango.
Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very fright'ning me.

(Galileo.) Galileo. (Galileo.) Galileo, Galileo figaro
Magnifico. I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me.
He's just a poor boy from a poor family,
Spare him his life from this monstrosity.
Easy come, easy go, will you let me go.
Bismillah! No, we will not let you go.
(Let him go!) Bismillah! We will not let you go.
(Let him go!) Bismillah! We will not let you go.
(Let me go.) Will not let you go.
(Let me go.) Will not let you go. (Let me go.) Ah.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
(Oh mama mia, mama mia.) Mama mia, let me go.
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me.

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye.
So you think you can love me and leave me to die.
Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby,
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here.

Nothing really matters, Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters,
Nothing really matters to me.

Any way the wind blows.

Now that my dirty deed is done, it's time to tag others to do the same: Jennigirl, Menchie, Maite, Lizza, Sexy Julie, Peggy, and Christina the Wench. The bell now tolls for thee. Go have some grievous fun!

Sacred Silence

Although I am enormously grateful that power has been fully restored in our abode and life is rapidly returning to normal, I must say I will look back on the blacked-out days gone by with drops of melancholy.

For, amidst the maddening humidity and exasperating ennui brought about by the stunningly sudden nationwide outage, there arose singular moments of pure joy that I will not easily forget.

With heavy-duty electronic appliances like the television and stereo shushed up, our home was rendered amazingly free of a thousand jarring, mindless noises. For once, our phones were not ringing off the hook and the doorbell refrained from stirring; everyone was too busy finding their own means of dealing with the crisis.

What mostly remained were the simple sounds of my husband and I playing / singing / dancing with our squealing / babbling / giggling toddler – a wondrous cornucopia of harmonious glee borne out of the superstorm’s aftermath of imposed silence.

In the awesome quiet, we chanced upon bits of precious time that magnificently stood still. We chose to seize the most we could, generously lavishing our undivided attention on each other and on our precious child. Our entire being’s focus naturally turned in on ourselves as a family, reveling in our togetherness and rejoicing in the treasure we had been given.

As cluttered reverberations vanished, we were left face to face with the essential, allowing us to ponder, assess and realize what truly mattered. At the end of the day – no matter how darkened it may be – it is the people you love and who love you in return that will carry you through to the light.

We've Got The Power!

At last, the electricity has been restored in our stormswept metropolis. WOOHOO!!!!

My heartfelt thanks to each and every one of you, my superduper bloggerfriends, for brightening up the past few dark and dreary days with your touching messages of concern, well wishes and prayers. You have my hugest hugs and kisses from the Philippines!!!

Oh, I can't believe it! I am finally going to be able to do what I've been dreaming of doing since last Thursday.

I am turning on the airconditioning FULL-BLAST and catching up on my much-needed beauty sleep.

ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz......

Deluged

Mother Nature must have been seriously dismayed (or rendered vengefully envious....BwaHaHa!) by my Miss Tourism photo because less than 48 hours after I published my post beckoning all and sundry to come hither into my quaint country paradise, she unleashed a ferocious storm called Milenyo (international codename: Xangsane) upon our hapless metropolis and beyond. It wasn't so much the heavy rain but the merciless wind that wreaked fantastic havoc everywhere. Old, stalwart trees were viciously uprooted from the ground, cement walls crumbled like caked bread to the earth, sturdy vehicles fell over as if they were flimsy toy cars, big billboards instantaneously transformed into lethal weapons as they came crashing down streets.

Since Thursday's terrible typhoon - the worst we've had in ten years - much of our city has been shrouded in darkness. The power company people continue to work frenetically to repair the vast damage caused by toppled electric posts. In the meantime, throngs of familes are flocking to the hotels and malls to seek refuge from the cloying heat and mind-numbing boredom.

We are still fortunate. My husband (just call him MacGyver!) ingeniously found a way to tap into our apartment building's generator system so that, apart from having only the usual emergency lights on at our unit, we also have our electric fans, fridge, and computers working. We also have running water. My parents and brothers from across town are going crazy because they have no electricty and water.

Although we have had computer access, my blog has admittedly been neglected because my full attention has been stolen by our toddler who is suffering from withdrawal symptoms brought about by the sudden absence of airconditioning and the unfathomable disappearance of Sesame Street, Barney and Blues Clues DVD-viewing in his everyday life.

Imagine my surprise when, upon finally checking my blog this morning, I found that my Pregnant Pauses has been chosen Bestest Blog of the Day ! WOOHOO!


Bestest Blog of the Day: 09/29/2006
Pregnant Pauses
...by Julie from "Flip This Body"

Pregnant Pauses, by blogger Irene Tuazon, is a cornucopia of fun, sassiness and humor. A self-proclaimed, "Photographer's Muse / Loony Stage Mother", Irene blogs from The Phillipines with a voice that is fresh and extremely funny.

Irene's blog description states, "A pregnant pause is a momentary stillness laden with significance. It is rich, prolific, provocative, wow. It is a threshold for ideas and can translate into one to one thousand emotions. It welcomes imagination and brims with untold possibilities. Sometimes, it is even pinched with humor. Life's most unforgettable moments are highlighted by pregnant pauses. Now, I gladly share with you mine."

Wow is right. If the description hasn't already sucked you in, try her post on her run in with WWE Smackdown's Big Dave Bautista, or the pics of her baby being cooked alive!! But, on a dime, Irene will turn around and hit you with a sentimental photograph/ poignant quote combo that's heartfelt and true.

I really enjoy visiting Irene's site because you never know what she's going to do next. She keeps you guessing, in a really good way!

posted by Bobby Griffin @ 12:07 AM

Special thanks to Getting-Sexier-By-The-Day Julie and the marvelous Bobby Griffin for the rave review. And thank you so much to all of you for your amazing support. Love yah!

Truly, this is a blast of light and cheer amidst the deluge.

Now, please excuse me as I have to perform my gazillionth song and dance number to amuse my restless wild child.

Miss Tourism

I admit it’s awesome having my blog visited by more and more people from every nook and cranny of the globe.

However, I’m pretty sure most of my international cyberfriends can't help but harbor some form of (morbid?) curiosity about the Philippines, that mysterious exotic location out of which the loony wife and mommy of Pregnant Pauses was borne.

I am aware – as most Filipinos are – that majority of the news that reach abroad from our shores have been grossly exaggerated by conspiratorial media forces, depicting my country as a frighteningly war-torn, poverty-ridden, cockroach-infested (thanks, Claire Danes!) inferno selfishly run by blatantly corrupt government officials propelled into power by illiterate island savages.

Well, I'm telling you now that this is not true.

We definitely have more mosquitoes than cockroaches.

BWAHAHAHA!

Kidding aside, the Philippines isn’t all that bad. Really. Most of the foreigners who come here for the first time are almost always pleasantly surprised at what they experience and find themselves wanting to stay longer, if not, forever.

I thought I’d do my own part, as infinitesimal as it may be, for my native land by sharing with you a series of images taken by my photographer husband. Hopefully, they will allow you a glimpse of some of the beauty that lies in the Philippines.

Bohol Beach Club

Panglao Island Resort

El Nido Resort, Palawan

Club Punta Fuego, Batangas

Inside The Ayala Museum

Makati City Nightscape

Greenbelt Lifestyle Mall, Makati

Malarayat Golf & Country Club, Batangas

Boracay Island Sunset

So what do you say?

Still not convinced?

Then maybe this will change your mind:

Don't hesitate. Grab that phone and call your travel agent now!

BWAHAHAHA! c",)

Critical Point

The great Billy Mac of Critique My Blog! had this to say about my Pregnant Pauses:

I have to say that the first 3 posts of this blog from July are some of the most beautiful posts I've read so far. Touching and sincere. What a wonderful thing to read about real love in many forms. This is an inspiring blog with cool insights into life and love. Nice work!

posted by Billy Mac @ 9/23/2006

Many thanks for the support, Billy Mac! You have my heartfelt appreciation and gratitude. MWAAAAHH!

Movie Madness

Lizza, my blog-tag temptress, sent me this insanely irresistible piece to fill out. Of course, my movie-crazy self could not help but get going on it right away.

Ready, set, action!

1. The last movie you saw in a theatre, and current-release movie you still want to see.

I last saw: The Devil Wears Prada

A refreshingly fun flick! Meryl Streep lets her magnificent eyes do most of the acting and they hit home perfectly; she is a pure delight to watch. Anne Hathaway transforms from naïve ingénue to delicious fashion plate wonderfully. The gazillion fantabulous clothes, shoes, bags, and accessories that spice up the screen scene after scene are more than enough to send scintillating shivers up every shopaholic’s spine. If you’re up to your ears in work and dying for a little break, stop what your doing and see this movie NOW.

I currently want to see: Monster House


A couple of little kids stumble upon an old house that is alive and hungry. How can this not be riveting?

2. The last movie you rented/purchased for home viewing.

Meet Joe Black

I’ve seen this already but I got the DVD so I could view it again.

What is the story? Let me see….. Hmmmmm. Oh! I don’t remember!

And honestly, I don’t care.

Just watching Brad Pitt sizzle in this movie is entertainment enough for me. BwaHaHa!

3. A movie that made you laugh out loud.

There's Something About Mary

This must be one of the most ridiculously funny films ever. My husband and I were cracking up so hard inside the cinema that people were beginning to give us strange looks. Well, we thought they were the strange ones for not laughing more.

Other belly-achingly crazy movies I enjoyed are Zoolander, the American Pie series, Liar Liar, and Top Secret!

4. A movie that made you cry.

Lorenzo’s Oil


This was gut-wrenching. The gigantic lump in my throat ached the whole time and I had terrible difficulty trying to stifle my sniffles inside the movie house. By the time I left the theater, my eyes were swollen red and my date’s handkerchief was damp with tears.

To think I was not even a mother yet when I first saw it! I honestly don’t know how I can take watching this again now that I have my own son.

5. A movie that was a darling of the critics, but you didn't think lived up to the hype.

Brokeback Mountain

I mean, really now.

Need I say more? :p

6. A movie that you thought was better than the critics.

The Passion of the Christ


This movie was riddled with much controversy. No matter what, I personally found it powerfully moving and profoundly meaningful.

7. Favorite animated movie.

Shrek


Tell me. How can anyone resist falling in love with such a darling ogre?

8. Favorite Disney Villain.

Ursula


If you’re going to be bad, you might as well be REALLY bad. And Ursula from The Little Mermaid is definitely one of the baddest, most kick-ass villainesses in Disney history.

9. Favorite movie musical.

The Sound of Music


I never get tired of watching this classic over and over again. Whenever I see it, I am sixteen-going-on-seventeen again, fondly recalling my favorite things, joyfully singing along to do-re-mi and feeling the hills come alive with the enchantingly beautiful sound of music.

I also love Grease, Moulin Rouge, Chicago and Evita.

10. Favorite movies of all-time (up to 5).

Crash


Everyone should see this movie. It truthfully depicts what our world has come to, and what our world should not be and be.

Father of the Bride


The Daddy’s girl in me stirs and smiles whenever I see this film. I am very close to my father and I am reminded of our special bond every time I watch it. My Dad even gave me the DVD a few days before I got married. It will thus always be special to me.

As Good As It Gets


The script in this movie is pure genius and the acting in it simply superb.

Love Actually

This movie with a huge stellar cast wittingly brings to light the greatness of different kinds of love. Anyone with half a heart would be delighted.

Dead Poet’s Society

Here is poetry and humanity interwoven in a cinematic masterpiece, reminding us of what is truly important and leaving us with the overwhelming longing to “suck the marrow out of life.”

If you haven’t seen this, you must. Carpe diem!

Fellow movie buffs, I’m now tagging you: Jenni, Pam, Maite, Menchie, Arvy and Julie. You’re IT... as well as everyone else who wants to join in on the fun! Just promise to let me know what you come up with, okay? (",)

At last, the time has come for me to blog-holler.....CUT!!!

Motherhood

"Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own."

-Aristotle

Dance of Life

"Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we should dance."

Ophelia the Exotic

I tried The Exotic Dancer Name Generator (who in heaven's name thinks up these things???) and I was christened Ophelia.

Irene's Exotic Dancer Name Is...

Ophelia

Exotic Dancer Name Generator

Hmmmm....

I admit Ophelia is not such a bad handle; it sounds slightly mysterious with a teeny tantalizing tinge of sexiness.

But then again, Ophelia is also the name of the tragic Shakesperean character who loses her sanity and drowns in a stream.

Bwahahaha!

Now, you try it! c",)

Tagged! (Bookworm to Bookworm)

Thanks for the tag, Lizza! You got me good.

Books, glorious books! How can I not join in on the fun?!?

1. One book that changed your life - the hardest question first.

"The Outsiders" by S.E. Hinton.


This book was a milestone in my coming-of-age years. I was a wide-eyed twelve when I first read it. With each page, I felt my sheltered self open up to an electrifying, angst-ridden adolescent world rife with rebellion, violence, triumph, loss, friendship, love and hope. It was so different from what I knew, yet the same. Its reality melded into my own. My heart went out to the remarkable characters. I rooted for Ponyboy, fell in love with Sodapop and deemed Johnny to be a hero. To this day, I remember: “Things are rough all over...” and “Nothing gold can stay...”

I read this book a gazillion times; I’ve practically memorized it. Unfortunately, I lost my copy when I was in college. I’ve scoured the bookstores and have yet to find it again. Do give me a heads up if you unearth a copy.

2. One book that you've read more than once.

See above.

3. One book that you'd want on a desert island.

“PostSecret” by Frank Warren.


With a collection of postcards by me, maybe I won’t feel so alone and abandoned. I’d have all those heartfelt messages from people from all over the world to keep me company.

4. One book that made you laugh.

I tend to see humor in everything so I’ll just cite the latest book I read that made me guffaw: "Handbags and Halos" by Bernadette Strachan.


My fab friend Jennigirl gave it to me for my birthday. It is a refreshingly witty chronicle of a shallow woman’s desperate attempts to make herself a deeper person. I laughed until I cried.

5. One book that made you cry.

Disclaimer: This will be irredeemably mushy.

“The Notebook” by Nicholas Sparks.


I was weeping almost the entire time I was reading it because I was overwhelmed with the realization that my husband is my Noah. He truly is. And this made me feel incredibly lucky and joyful – knowing I would have him to grow old with.

Are you done cringing? Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

6. One book that you wish you had written.

“Pregnant Pauses: The Mind-blowing Adventures of A Loony Wife and Mother” by Irene Tuazon.

I’m still wishing it would be written.

7. One book you wish had never been written.

See above.

8. One book that you are reading at the moment.

“Kafka on the Shore” by Haruki Murakami.


Strangely enough, I can't get past the second chapter. Usually, I can finish a novel in one sitting.

It must be those Prison Break DVDs hogging my attention as of late. Damn that Wentworth Miller! Doesn’t he know better than to look that hot???

9. One book that you've been meaning to read.

"Three Filipino Women" by F. Sionil Jose


I really, really want to read more books by Philippine authors. We have so many highly talented, wonderfully creative writers right here and it would be great if we could all throw more support their way. Don’t you agree?

10. Five others (or more) that you’d like to do this.

My favorite bookworms: Jenni, Pam, Menchie, Arvy, Dean, and Maryanne. You’re it!

Let me know when you’ve posted your lists so I can take a peek.

Booklovers of the world – unite! Woohoo! c”,)

True Success

"To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Don't Call Me Tita

I was in Embassy last Friday.

You don’t have to tell me. I’m thirty-something and I’m married. I know it was bizarre of me to dare step into that infamous lair of wanton adolescence, where skimpy lingerie is considered a complete party ensemble and flowing alcohol is served to babies masquerading as adults. But it was the birthday night of a very dear friend AMV and I couldn’t refuse his fervent invitation to go barhopping after dinner.

I thus found myself squeezing my way through the gyrating labyrinth of barely-clad bodies around me, praying no daughter of mine would ever enter such a den of iniquity, and hoping against hope I wouldn’t see someone I knew who would have the audacity to call out to me: “Hi, Tita Irene!”

Suddenly, I stopped in my tracks as I hit something hard. I thought it was a wall because it felt so solid. When I turned around, I was astonished to see that it was a man. Nay, a GIANT. His muscular arm was a tree trunk; his incredibly thick neck could have been someone’s waist. Truly, such a superbly built creature would be powerful enough to smash the building and everyone in it to smithereens. Could he be a real-life superhero?

Within moments, I noticed the crowd around the mystifying behemoth I touched swell rapidly. Then, there was rhythmic chanting intensifying: “BA-TIS-TA! BA-TIS-TA! BA-TIS-TA!”

It turns out I had just brushed shoulders (or, more accurately, head to biceps) with Big Dave Batista -- the 290 pound, 6 feet and 5 inches tall Filipino-Greek American professional wrestling god of Smackdown!



I immediately text-messaged my WWE-addicted brothers and their blood curdled deep green with envy. They said they wished to heaven they were there instead of me, their old gloating sister.

Club owner Tim Yap proudly announced the presence of the smiling colossus on the microphone and the throng of revelers went wild cheering and clapping. Batista stayed a while to pose for pictures and take in the scene.

Before long, I found myself loosening up, kidding around with my companions, enjoying my drink, and swaying to the pulsating house music.

Hence, it came to be that my first foray into Embassy proved to be quite the cool experience. I had a close encounter with a world-famous superstar wrestler. I had fun with friends. And, thank God, nobody called me Tita.

What's Cooking?

What happens when you bring your baby to the kitchen of celebrity Chef Gene Gonzalez???

YOU

GET

NICCOLO DELICIOSO!

Want some to go??? (",)

Risking It

"Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it. . . . It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more."

-- Erica Jong